Sunday, September 1, 2013

Nobody said it would be this hard...

I am 24 days from leaving my family for 18 months. I have 22 days left in my beautiful state of Idaho. 

24 days.

Everyone keeps telling me I'll have the time of my life. It will be the best 18 months I ever have. 

So why does it feel like I only have 24 days left to live? 

Nobody told me it would feel like the goodbyes are final goodbyes. Nobody said it would be so difficult to explain to people why you're happy and sad all at the same time. Nobody said it would be hard to explain why you even want to do this.

I knew the tears would flow, but never did I anticipate the ease and volume that they would present themselves with. I knew I would be saying goodbye to friends and co workers, but I didn't know how attached I would be to the people I'm leaving for a year and a half. I knew the packing list would be long, but I didn't quite comprehend how much stuff you need for 18 months of life.

Going on a mission is hard.

I'm giving up my friends and family, my laptop, my phone, dating, jeans, flip flops, alone time, and over $7,000 to do this.

I want to be there to tell my fellow future sister missionaries that it's ok to scared. Heaven knows I'm terrified out of my wits! And I'm not even going anywhere remotely dangerous! I'm so so scared, but it's ok because I have the comfort from my Heavenly Father. What more do I need? If God can help Moses part the seas then he better be able to stop my tears and tell me that everything will be fine. And if Job can show faith through bankruptcy, abandonment, and illness then I can show faith in perfect health, with a whole support system of a family, and with abundance that I don't even appreciate as much as I should.

It's been an emotional few days. Getting down to the wire with not much time left for preparation. It's all getting real, and that's the scary part! I report in less than a month. I made a list of everything that I need to do and buy to be ready to go, it's less than a page long. I'm leaving my job this Thursday, and this is really proving to be harder than I thought it would be. I didn't think I would love the goofballs I work with this much. But I do. Oh well.

It was my last Fast and Testimony meeting before I leave, so naturally I had to get up and bear my testimony on missionary work. Just hoping my farewell talks go more smoothly!

Be faithful and happy. Don't worry about anything, because God has your back. Always has. Always will. Promise.

Thanks for reading! This was all my emotion just kind of pouring out into a random post! Come back soon for more and feel free to comment or email me!

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